Ah, the lovely sound from the tapping of my keys.
It's been too long since I blogged. There are too many things that have happened in my life since I last published a post on here, these things I don't classify blog-worthy or are extremely personal, so I will skip a lot of the details and say what is on my mind right now.
Since I was a little girl, I haven't always been fascinated by trains. This is to say that because they were not usual in my life, I didn't concern myself with them. I say this to point out that my story is not something that emerges from the deep-seated passions of locomotives instead, it is just about a recent observation that I have made. In fact, trains were almost a myth where I grew up and I still remember the excitement I felt when we were going to an excursion to see one in secondary school.
But back to my point. I am writing about losing track. In life, we are all on a journey to a certain destination. I know God creates us for a purpose and gives us gifts and talents unique to us to enable us fulfil that purpose. In the end, we will stand before Him and be judged on how we fulfilled what He has sent us here to do. I know this.
What the issue is for me is that I did not know what exactly I was created for. I was in despair. There are few feelings worse than knowing that you were created for something and having no clue what is was. So, not to waste any more time, I tried my hands on anything and everything I had the slightest interest in. Art, photography, writing, singing, interior decorating? What on earth could be my purpose?
Frustration took the best of me. I was so lost in myself that it showed externally. I questioned, pondered, wondered and blundered (okay, you can tell that I tried to be a rapper/spoken word poet too, can't you?). Until I gave up. In all my searching, I meandered my way out of the hopes and dreams my Master had primarily instilled in me until I was so far I lost sight of them.
I was drained emotionally and physically. My weight was fluctuating as I spent more time thinking and stressing than eating and taking care of myself. I felt I had nothing in me to give. My relationships suffered and the people closest to me had to make do with what was barely a shadow of myself.
All because I had not trusted God's way- JESUS. It is easy, and even sometimes I still do, to see JESUS as just a Word in the pages of my New Testament Bible. He hardly came alive to me as a Person and even less as the Son of God. That really was where I missed the whole plot. If I could fulfil everything that I needed to by myself, I doubt He, JESUS, would have said to me, " Without me, you can do nothing". I took the word "nothing" to mean things that were deeply spiritual and way up there in the clouds but when I saw it as it really is, nothing means NOTHING. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Nothing.
I have read and personally experienced the reason behind His sending the Holy Spirit who gives us power. Man was fulfilling purpose while he was in Eden fellowshipping with God. But that was cut short in disobedience. God saw that we were never going to fulfil that in our own selves so He said in Ezekiel 36:26-29 that He would change our hearts and cleanse us so that we can now obey His laws and commands. And who can stand in God's Holy place? Those with a clean heart and pure hands. He has promised to cleanse us so we can stand in His holy place and fellowship with Him. That's one purpose sorted- if you believe.
What I needed to realise was that He knew my purpose and He was going to provide the means by which I was going to fulfil them. He wanted me to trust Him with it. I found that out the hard and frustrating way. God shows us that there is something that He wants us to do. He may give you an idea of what it could be but with others you may not even have that. He already gave us something to hold on to anyway, that we should abide in Him. This is how we do something. And that He would help us to do even more. And that He is our strength. He is the one who bears fruit in us. It really is all Him.
So when I went off track because I couldn't figure out where I was going, The One who had made the tracks waited for me to come back. All I needed was to stay on His tracks, to know it led me somewhere and He had already planned it all. That is what faith is, not knowing where it ends but believing that it will be as promised. The stops, the hills, the valleys, where all part of my journey that was pre-planned. He has good works that He had created me to do way in advance. My purpose was to stay in Him.
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| Source: 1ms.net |
My Dear Feyi, what you have written is absolute truth and a most fundamental lesson for living in The Master's plan. In life, we are often like actors in a long script where the writer and director only doles out roles one piece at a time. The good actor does his best at each stage and earns himself a role in the next act. That the next act is unclear yet won't be an excuse for failing to live up to expectation in the current role. No wonder Isaiah 28:9 - 13, talks of precept after precept, line after line in relating with God and growing in perfect alignment with the masterplan of
ReplyDelete....the Christian's life. Following Him this closely is the practical demonstration of trust and obedience.
ReplyDeleteso true love,thanks for this. in Him we live and move and have our being!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for all your insight, I am learning that is all in Him. Isaiah 26:12 all that we have accomplished, He has done for us. He is the Master and the Planner in the Master-Plan.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favourite scripture- "Without me , you can do Nothing". So glad you grasped the implication and sense of the word nothing in this scripture. Nothing in all its sense (spiritual, secular, big or small). Yet, the scripture say, we can do ALL things through Christ. Christ is the difference between nothing and all things.
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